Chesterbrook Taiwanese Presbyterian Church

Farewell college students! from Ken Liu on Vimeo.

By Amanda and Teresa
[The password is the mascot of the college Pastor Ken attended.]

In our past home group, we started with a quote by Paul Miller which eventually caused a stir:

“Instead of naive optimism, Jesus calls us to be wary, yet confident in our heavenly Father. We are to combine a robust trust in the Good Shepherd with a vigilance about the presence of evil in our own hearts and in the hearts of others. The feel of a praying life is cautious optimism – caution because of the Fall, optimism because of redemption.”

The quote raised the question, “what does it mean to be cautious and wary” in prayer? Certainly this is not wariness or caution towards God, but rather towards the reality of evil externally and internally. Context of course helps, so here’s what came before:

“Jesus does not ignore evil. When he sends the disciples on their fist missionary journey, he says, “I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matt 10:16). The overwhelming temptation when faced with evil is to become a wolf, to become cynical and lose your sheeplike spirit. Jesus tells us to instead by warm but wary – warm like a dove but wary like a serpent.

Jesus keeps in tension wariness about evil with robust confidence in the goodness of his Father. He continues, “Beware of men”; then in the next breath he warms our hearts to the Father’s love, saying, “Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows” (10:31). Since your Father is intimately involved with the death of even one sparrow, won’t he watch over your life? You don’t have to distance yourself with an ironic, critical stance. You don’t have to shut down your heart in the face of evil. You can engage it”.

Paul Miller, A Praying Life, p.83-84

Hope this helps. Context is King. I should have known better.

A while back in our discussion on the rhythm of reconciliation, it was voiced that forgiveness is rare in the dynamic of an Asian household, Christian or not. We joked how it was unheard of to hear our parents apologize and ask for forgiveness. It’s been on my mind for a while now and lo and behold, I come across a helpful post by Pastor Andrew Wong  entitled, “Forgiveness – and its absence in Chinese culture”. Here’s the outline of his post:

1. How common is forgiveness in the Chinese household?
2. Can we really have reconciliation without forgiveness?
3. How do we become people who forgive much?

Here’s a sampling of his answer to question #2:

Can we really have reconciliation without forgiveness?

“What’s behind this is partly the concern for one’s face. A Chinese person obviously loses face by asking for forgiveness, since it highlights their inferior moral position. But a Chinese person also loses face by offering forgiveness – because by doing so there is a feeling that you are letting go of the right you have over someone. This is why it is so rare to find forgiveness in the dynamics of Chinese relationships.

This might bring about the effect of reconciliation – but not through the means of forgiveness. The outcome of reconciliation is actually quite important, and so Chinese people will work towards that – or at least towards the appearance of harmony. “Why insist on forgiveness, when we can still achieve reconciliation?” it is argued.” Shouldn’t that be our goal, after all?”

And so as to achieve a kind of reconciliation and preserve face at the same time, Chinese avoid forgiveness entirely in favour of quietly dropping the argument overnight. Or in favour of magnanamously relenting, while holding on to their right to be hurt.

However it is not up to us to decide that reconciliation without forgiveness is acceptable among the people of God. We are to be a people of forgiveness who, astoundingly, forgive as the Lord has forgiven us. We are to be experts at forgiveness!

Read the rest here. Thoughts?